Always On My Mind
by didgeridoo
Summary: Jack was good at a lot things but as it turned out he constantly failed at the one thing that meant most to him. The chance to love and be loved in the way he deserved. M rated for jex!


**I haven't written anything in a long time as college is keeping me busy those days.**** But as some recent happenings on the show kind of annoyed I thought it might help to write something jatey! ;)**

**ALWAYS ON MY MIND**

Jack had been working sixteen hour shifts in the hospital for the whole week and the signs of fatigue were clearly visible. Not only his health was suffering from it but also his private life as he recently split with his girlfriend, Sarah, after a relationship of two months only. The worst of it being that she ended their relationship by writing him a note that didn't contain more than four words. He jumped from one miserable relationship into the next, the ladies leaving him all for the same reason being they felt neglected as his job was keeping him occupied pretty much 24/7 and if he could enjoy a free minute once in a while he would use it to catch up with some sleep. Life was literally eating him up these days yet all he wanted was to find her. To find the woman of his dreams, the woman, who was ready to share the rest of his life with him. To finally have someone who was waiting for him back home with open arms after a hard day, asking him how his day was. Maybe he wasn't made for that.

'_What else are you good for?'_ a more than fatherly voice appeared in his mind. Yes, that's all there was to him. Being the chef of surgery. Jack reassured himself that he probably didn't eveb deserve what he so awfully wished for. Little did he know that the woman of his dreams was closer than he thought...

Jack was sitting in his office, going through some files of a patient on whom he would have to do a surgery later that day as the toughts of how sad his life was plagued his mind once again. A knock on the door snapped him out of his miseral thoughts.

"Yeah?" he called out and the tone of his voice clearly suggested that he was having a rough time, while he rubbed the fatigue and hints of tears out of his eyes.

The door opened and the beautiful nurse named Kate, who he regarded to as his closest friend since she started working at St. Sebastian's a few months ago. Sometimes Jack wasn't so sure anymore if their relationship already oversteped the boundaries of what most people would call an innocent friendship. But he always pushed the idea of acting on his attraction to the back of his head as he cared a lot about her and didn't want to jeopardise things.

"Hey!" Kate expressed and smiled at him and Jack, who just caught himself falling for her once again. So all he could do was smiling back and her while he uttered a friendly Hey as well.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked concerned and stroked his arm as she saw Jack looking all exhausted, like he had been to hell and back. The touch of feeling her soft skin on his sent chills downs his spine.

Jack looked at her and gave her a confirming nod but the weary look in his eyes suggested something else. Kate immediately pulled the man opposite her in a fierce hug and she could feel Jack lean into the much needed comfort. Neither of them wanting to pull back, they stayed in that position for several minutes because Kate probably enjoyed the comfort of being in his strong arms just as much. Jack slowly loosened the grip around her and Kate eased hers as well and they gazed deeply into each others eyes. As he was looking at her with his soft brown orbs, Kate realised again how much she was in love with Jack already. Her feelings for him so strong that it scared the hell out of her.

At the point when his eyes wandered to her lips and Kate saw it coming. He leaned closer to her and the last of her rational thinking that were left of her at this moment told her to pull away as she didn't want to complicate their relationship. But her body was physically unable to pull away as the allurment was too big when she could already feel his hot breath on her lips. A moment later she then experienced what she was dreaming of so many times before. Her lips slightly trembled when Jack's finally brushed against hers ever so softly. When Jack felt that Kate responded to the kiss, the movments over her lips got needier and more urgent in response. Never before had Kate felt anything like this, never had it felt so _right _to be kissed by someone. That sensational feeling numbing both of their minds.

Jack obviously felt the same as his tongue plundered her mouth and explored every inch of it with deep care. It seemed to take all their breath away but at the same time it was all they needed to breathe at that very moment. Hands started moving at a frantic pace, both being dangerously close to losing control over the whole situation. Kate suddenly felt a moan escaping her lips as their tounges continued the more than perfect dance.

'_What is happening to me? What are you doing__?Damn__, why does it feel so good?'_ Jack's mind was racing as he felt the more private parts of him reacting to the movement of their hot tongues. The bulge, which was now griniding against her moist center certainly didn't go unnoticed by the beautiful nurse, and at that point Jack's rational thinking won him over and he pulled away. Now being faced with a very startled Kate.

"I...uhm...I'm sorry" Jack mouthed in an akward manner looking for an excuse and as he glanced at his watch he was somehow relieved that it was time for the surgery.

"The surgery...I'm gonna be late for the surgery." Jack expressed and with that he excused himself out of the uncomfortable situation, leaving a confused Kate behind.

As a result to the recent incident in Jack's office, the tension between them increased to an incredibly heightened level. Sometimes he found himself waking up in a very aroused state due to his passionate dreams about the nurse. Every time he saw her, he just wanted to push her against the nearest surface and take her right there. With each day passing it got harder for him to actually control his primal needs, and therefore he decided to keep out of her way because otherwise he would maybe lose it after all. Little did he know that Kate had similar feelings of love for him and wanted to be with him in the most intimitate connection just as bad as he did. She already lost count of the amount of times she fantasised about him making love to her. It pissed her off even more to know that Jack kept ignoring her ever since their first kiss. If their paths met on the aisle he would quickly turn around and head the other way. She wanted to know the sudden change of his rude behaviour.

_(2 weeks later)_

Once again, Jack was sitting in his office and was surrounded by piles of paperwork. He found it hard to concentrate on it as his thoughts always wandered to a certain woman he was trying so desperately to move on from. As the events that happened two weeks ago replayed in his head he suddenly felt himself getting very aroused once again. With each thought about her the ache to be relased was getting beyond bearable for him.

'_Why do I suddenly think about her in that way? Why do I feel something so strong? What the hell is happening with me?' _The voice in his head kept asking him and at this point his primal needs got the stronger of him.

He found his hand gradually wandering down to the source of what caused the pain and freed his throbbing member. Jack slowly started stroking his rock hard cock, moaning the name of the brunette who made him feel that way in the first place. At the same moment, an unknowing Kate was on her way to Dr. Shephard's office as she thought it was about time to just face it and talk with him about why he was still showing her the cold shoulder.

'_Should I knock or just walk in__?Why__ am I acting like a fool again?' _ Kate asked herself, as she was standing nervoulsy in front of his office door and decided to brace herself as she placed her hand on the door knob.

The green-eyed woman opened the door inch by inch and soon her ears were welcomed with the sound of breathy moans. Being curios to find the source of it, she tilted her head to peer inside. Kate couldn't believe her eyes as what she was seeing right now, shivers went down her spine as her mind captured the image. The thought never crossed her mind that Jack actually did have those needs, those primal needs as well. Kate wasn't sure if the sight made her froze due to her shock or rather because of her arousal. His eyes were shut tightly, his brow furrowed and his facial expression was adorned by one of total concentration. The breathing is laboured and his strokes get very urgent just as his moans do too. Somehow she was hearing him mouthing something...

"Kate...ooooh...Kate...Kate" Jack moaned in pleasure.

Kate held her breath.in complete shock as she heard her own name being mouthed by a panting Jack Shephard, while he was stroking his incredibly big cock. The realisation that she was actually the one he was fantsizing about all this time led Kate to becoming increasingly aroused as well. Kate was torn between sense and want. She couldn't bring her feet to move even an inch and neither did she have the courage to actually walk in and invade his privacy. As much as she longed to just feel his hard member in her mouth, inside her she again didn't want to complicate their relationship any further. Never the less, she kept her eyes firmly planted on his frantically working body. Subconsciously her own hand wandered south, pressing against her drenched panties. Surprised at how wet he made her without even touching her, Kate started to massage her hot center through the material of her clothes while Jack continued sliding his fist up and down his shaft in an obvioulsy well practiced manner.

"Kate oh Kate, oh Kate" Jack panted out, just a a few more strokes, just a few more!

"Kate...OH FUCK KAAAAATE!" Jack screamed over and over again when he poured gallons of his hot semen over his hand and threw his head back into the chair.

It wouldn't take a lot for her to just go in right now and slurp all of his release out of his hand, just like a hungry cat would slurp their milk, but as Jack gradually opened his eyes after recovering from his release, Kate snapped and realized that he could actually see her, figuring that she was watching him masturbating the entire time. With that in mind Kate quickly swung herself around and shut the door firmly behind her.

Her legs turned to jelly as the scene replayed over and over again in her mind. Thank God, she could lean against the door behind her because otherwise she would have definitely collapsed.

'_Could it be that he was thinking the same about her as she did about him? That he wanted her__?Loved__ her?_'– Kate's mind was racing and the images of him screaming her name in pleasure kept popping up in her mind constantly.

For the rest of the day Kate couldn't think about anything else and concentrating now on her work seemed to be impossible as the feeling of lust and desire combined with her feelings of love for him heightened. The feelings so strong that the pain and ache for experiencing the "ultimate connection" with her favourite surgeon was maddening her or at least feel those sensual and soft lips kissing hers again. Too consumed in her thoughts, she didnt even realize that someone was actually calling out for her. But as the person called out to her again, this time with a substantial louder voice she snapped out of her reveries.

"Yeah?" – Kate uttered in a slightly startled way.

"Are you busy right now or could you please take those files for tomorrow's surgery upstairs to Dr. Shephard's surgery? It's very urgent!" – her colleague, Dr. Elliot Reid, whom she considered to be among her best friends, expressed in a very stressed manner.

"I...uh.." Kate managed to get out in a slightly nervous manner when Elliot mentioned the name of him. The images still so clear in her mind, Kate didn't know how she would react seeing him now.

But after another penetrating "Please!" of her friend she found herself nodding in response –

"Yeah, sure, no problem" - and this time she would use the opportunity and face him about the reason he was avoiding her. Not only was she annoyed by it but she also started to miss him awfully.

"Thank, you sweetie" Elliot uttered and rushed away and with that Kate set off for her destination.

An elevator ride and a few steps later she found herself standing in front of the white door, behaving like a school girl who is too scared to enter the headmaster's office. But as the files are very important, she had no choice, she had to go through this.

This time though, Kate took the time for a proper knock and went in as she heard Jack saying "Come in!"

Nervous as never before, soley because of what she witnessed earlier that day, Kate slowly dragged her feet into the room.

"Kate" Jack expressed as he saw her entering his surgery.

"Hi" – Kate said with a slightly trembling voice. The simple move of him throwing syringes away made her feel the very familiar dampness between her legs, like she did for oh so many times today. She immediately pushed those thoughts in the back of her head as she didn't want him to find out what she witnessed earlier this day, but that was easier said than done.

"Elliot told me you needed them" Kate uttered in a shy manner and holded the files up.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, thanks." Jack stated and walked over to her

She watched him as he tried to study the files, with apparant concentration._'__God, how can someone be so gorgeous by just checking out some files?'_

Kate tensed, a silent gasp escaped her lips and she knew she was close to losing it all over. She quickly put her admiring thoughts in the back of her head as she rembered what she had to say.

"Jack...we gotta talk!" Kate stated in a serious manner.

"Talk about what?" Jack uttered in a way like he wouldn't have any idea.

"This! Why are you acting like this, Jack?! Why are you avoiding me all the time?" Kate said in a somehow annyoed tone.

"I have no clue what you are talking about!" Jack mouthed, still acting dumb.

"Don't give me that crap! You know exactly what this is about! You haven't talked to me, not even looked at me for the last two weeks, Jack! Why?" Kate expressed in a very pissed manner.

"You wouldn't understand it!" Jack added without showing any emotions.

"Well, how am I supposed to understand you if you don't talk! Please, let me in!" she responded after taking a deep breath.

Kate further added "Please...I miss you, Jack!" with a heartbroken voice and tears started to form in her eyes along with it.

As he was standing there, looking into her watery eyes, he could see something else in her eyes, a mixture of love and pain. It crashed his heart into pieces as he realized that he might be the reason for her pain and for the very first time he started to believe that she might have similar feelings for him as he had for her in return. Neither of them moved for several minutes. They just stood there, gazing deeply into each others eyes and no words were needed to express their deep feelings. It seemed as if their love grew stronger with each second passing and Jack was the one to break the silence of this magic moment.

"Do...do..you think it's dangerous?" Jack mouthed in an awkward manner, his eyes still locked with hers and the tension shooting up to the highest level.

"What...what do you mean, Jack?" Kate breathed as the air between them got thicker and thicker with each second passed.

"Feeling too much" Jack huffed "Feeling too much so soon" His voice and body trembled as the electricty was rushing through him.

Jack moved his head closer to hers and as much as he tried not to, he found his eyes already focusing on her perfectly shaped lips.

"Depends on what those feelings are" Kate breathed her answer and Jack could already feel their hot breaths mingling into a burning flame before he whispered...

"Something like this..." and with that Jack finally made a move to feel what he longed to feel so badly for two weeks .He gently put his arm around her, and closed the last inch between their lips to only meet hers in the softest way.

Dizzyness washed over her as she was overwhelmed by the sensation of being engaged in a kiss with her one and only – Jack. Jack poured all his love for her into this kiss, as if there would be no tomorrow. A kiss so intense, so pure and so real. Kate's tongue probbed at his mouth, waiting for his invitation, which he answered immediately with an appreciative moan, deepening their steamy kiss. Getting completely lost in the passionate moves of their tongues and lips, Jack loosened his grip around the files and they landed on the floor with a fluttering noise as he put his arms around her, pulling her body closer to his, the kiss gradually progressing with an insatiable hunger. The need for air was gradually starting to over take them, but they were too addicted to the taste of each other that pulling away seemed to be something imossible to do.It just felt too _good_ and too _right_ to be true!

Jack's hand slowly and gently found its way beneath her shirt. His warm fingers travelled slowly up her skin, inch by inch, not wanting to miss one and Kate could feel goose bumps surfacing at the sensation of feeling his skin on hers, his arousal grinding into her. The surgeon's talented hand finally reached its destination and he started to caress her breast through the material of her bra in a more than loving way and as a result the brunette whimpered in pleasure and bucked her hips against the obvious bulge. Jack slowly pulled out of the kiss, leaning his forehead against his, trying to catch some air.

"Do...you...?" Jack mouthed with a laboured breath.

In reply, Kate grabbed his hand and guided it into her panties, pressing it against her pulsating center. Jack huffed some breathy verbal obscenities as he felt how incredibly hot and wet she was for him.

"Make me yours, Jack" – Kate whispered in a seductive tone.

Without wasting another minute, Jack lifted her up and her legs went naturally around his waist. He quickly pulled her shirt off in between feverish kisses, while he carried her over to the bed and layed her down gently before he removed his own blue scrubs shirt. Jack looked into her love-filled eyes once more as he felt his own darken, as she was lying beneath him without a shirt. Kate licked her lips hungrily and her hands roamed over the expanse of his hairy chest. His warm lips dropped to her neck and his hungry tongue worked its way to the collarbone, making sure he didn't miss a spot and then he put a trail of wet kisses along the lines of her bra and as a result to his ministrations Kate whimpered beneath him.

Turned on, Jack's hands slid to her back and undid the clasp of her bra. Without warning he planted his lips on the soft skin of her breast and Kate moaned in pleasure. He took her right nipple in his mouth and licked and sucked on it like a hungry baby, feeling it harden inside his mouth, while he caressed her left one with his amazingly talented fingers, and then the other way round. The effect being that she could feel her center getting wetter and wetter and wetter... After spending a decent amount of time with caressing her breasts, Jack licked his way down her stomach and softly stroked her inner thighs with his hands. The ache between her legs was getting to the point, where she simply couldn't take it anymore. Jack attacked her mouth with a rough kiss, as he gripped the sides of her drenched panties and slid them down her slender legs. Then he took a moment to take in her beauty and gasped at the sight of it.

He gripped her thighs, eased them apart and was immediately intoxicated with the scent of her desire. A deep growl escaped his mouth as he got a perfect view of her sizzling center, swearing that never before had he seen a woman so wet for him and him only. He leaned down and Kate could already feel his hot breath against her aching center and Jack teased her by whiffing against it. Finally Kate felt the tip of his tounge against her burning pussy and she groaned wildly in response as she arched and writhed beneath him. His head moved from side to side as he tongue-fucked her deliciously, driving her insane. Then she felt it – it was burning through her stomach as she broke into a frenzied flush. She snapped as Jack gently sucked her clit. Kate screamed as the mind-blowing orgasm suddenly hit her. She gripped the sheets of the bed and screamed out his name again and again along with some religous epitaphs.

He slowly moved up and gently stroked some wisps out her face. His eyes patient as they watched her recovering from her high. Kate slowly opened her eyes and looked at him with her satisfied eyes, and once again they exchanged a few sloppy kisses. In a quick motion, she shoved his pants down along with his boxers, freeing his throbbing member strain free from the expanse of their previously tight confines.

Kate licked her lips hungrily as she saw the enormous size of his cock and grew incredibly worried that he wouldn't fit her to the hilt. But those were quikly replaced with her need to feel the ultimate pleasure as his hard member brushed softly against her pulsating center, and the muscles of her lower regions only trembled in anticipation. Jack looked at her one last time in order to receive the confirmation, which she gave him immediately in the form of an eager nod.

Both groaned in pleasure as Jack's rock hard cock sank slowly inside her...deeper and deeper and he was welcomed by a pool of wet, constricting desire. His cock matched her pussy perfectly – just like a key to its lock. He stretched her completely and she felt a slight pain at first but it soon was exchanged with the feeling of pure pleasure.

"Oh God Jack, Oh God! You're in me! You're in me!" Kate panted, swaying her little head from one side to the other and thought she would come right then and there.

With one last look shared he started his loving movments within her. Jack loved her with slow and sensual thrusts, reflecting the feelings he used to have locked inside him for way too long, slowly getting them both to that level of pure ecstasy. His cock moved in and out of her and his slow thrusts started to drive her insane as the need of release became more than urgent to her.

"Faster, Jack!" Kate moaned and Jack was very willing to fulfill her order, and Kate was overwhelmed by the sensations of feeling him so deep inside her as he kept hitting the right spots every time, getting her closer and closer and Kate felt something big building up inside her in response.

"Jack...I'm gonna..oh...I'm gonna...co-aaaahhhhhhh" Kate screamed as her hot walls clenched tightly around his still hard member and the mother of all orgasms rocked her body for what seemed like eternity.

"Shhh! It's okay baby!" Jack whispered calmly, hugging her as the waves of pleasure rushed through her body.

They kept exchanging wet kisses when Jack initiated little thrusts within her once again. The needs for his own release getting stronger and stronger with each push yet he kept making gentle love to her in a steady pace, represseing his own desire to take her harder.

"Jack, please stop being the gentleman for a moment and not hold back? Give into me Jack! I want you to give me everything! Fuck me hard!" Kate bit out.

Jack couldn't believe what she just said and he didn't want to give in at first but her words turned him on in such a way that he simply couldn't control himself anymore and his primal needs got the better off him.

"Alright baby, here we go!" Jack huffed.

Jack grabbed one of her beautiful legs and put it on his sholder. He was now pounding into her in a frantic pace. Jack was fucking her so hard now that Kate knew it would twinge with every step she would take the following day but she waited too long to experience something like this with "Dr. McHottie", as he was labelled in the rumour column of the Hospital!

"Shit Kaaate! That feels so fucking good!" – Jack hissed.

His thrusts and moans now belonging to those ones of the wildest kind and the bed started to make squeaky noices beneath them as he continued hammering into her. His taut balls slapping against the surface of her ass with every thrust. Kate found herself at the edge once more and at that very moment they both heard Jack's beeper going off.

"Don't stop! Don't stop Jack, please I'm so close..so close, baby! Come in me, Jack, come in me!" Kate moaned as the beeping sounds just wouldn't stop.

As a result Jack fucked her even harder and a moment later Jack spilled gallons of his hot semen into her. He gave her so much that his precious liquid started leaking out of her. His release spurted into her continuously just as Kate was hit by sweet release again and a massive orgasm then shook both of their bodies as a result, just as the beeping noise finally faded, only to be replaced with the previous exchanges of their moans of appreciation. Kate gradually regained her senses and gently stroked the surface of Jack's head, which was still buried in her neck and it hit her once again how much she loved this man.

"I love you" she whispered softly and planted a kiss on the side of his head. Jack lifted his head and kissed her sensually in response before he whispered those three magic words into her ear, and a single happy tear travelled its way down her cheek.

Soon fatigue overcame the lovers and they fell into a blissful slumber, in the bed behind the curtain of Dr. Shephard's surgery. Them both treasuring the spontaneity of the moment rather than questioning it.

**Hope you guys liked it. Please take the time and let me know what you think about it!**


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